Amanda,

When I first started working at my current job, my boss was great.  She was helpful, hard-working, and always set a great example for us.  I always felt motivated to come to work and do my best because she did.  Lately, I have noticed a drastic change in her work ethic.  She avoids the sales floor, sits in the back on her phone, and doesn’t make her personal sales goals or help to make the store goal.  It has frustrated me to the point where I feel I am not doing my best.  I don’t know how to confront her or what to say about the situation.  Please help!

 Katie Burnshaw

 

Hi Katie,

It is unfortunate that you must endure this situation.  And it is even more frustrating that your boss was once such an awesome leader.  Many things could be causing her behavior, but try to refrain from making it personal or allowing excuses for her actions.

The problem is not going to go away.  That means you have to talk to her.  Unless you can afford to quit, which most people cannot, you must confront her and the situation.  Depending on her personality and leadership style, you should be prepared for a variety of responses.  Here are some tips to get you through this uncomfortable situation.

1.  Schedule a meeting.  Once you reserved a block of time with her, there is no turning back.  Now you have to face this problem.  If this is a team issue, make sure that the coworkers that would like to participate in the meeting are available to meet with her at the time you scheduled.  The day of your discussion, contact your Human Resources representative to briefly inform her about the problem if you feel your supervisor may try to retaliate.

2.  Plan your approach.  Write everything down that you would like to discuss.  Do not rush to talk to her—give yourself at least a week.  Take notes several times throughout the day.  Organize your notes into the specific topics you would like to address with her.  You are most definitely irritated with everything she is doing (or is not doing) at this point, but make sure you are keeping your grievances focused only on her role.

3.  Role play.  Whether you hate to role play or not, you have to do it so you are prepared for every possible reaction your boss may have.  Ask a trusted co-worker, friend, or family member to play the role of your boss so that you can figure out which approach will work best.  And tell that person to react differently each time so that you will not be surprised.  Practice keeping your voice level and your reaction composed no matter what your role-playing partner throws at you.

4.  Expect the unexpected.  Your boss may deny everything.  She may give you excuses for her actions.  She may refuse to listen and try to turn things around on you.   She may cry, scream, or remain completely silent.  No matter what reaction you receive, do everything you can to keep the conversation going.

5.  Stay focused.  Ultimately, you want her to admit fault and pledge to be the shining example of the leader that she once was, but that may not happen.  Do not allow her to postpone this confrontation for any reason. It is important for you to stay focused on your goal and keep her focused on the reason you are having this conversation.  Make sure you get some kind of commitment from her before you allow the meeting to end.  If there are other participants, assign one person to take notes throughout the discussion.  Give your manager at least 30 days to show improvement before contacting her manager or discussing the issue at length with HR.

This is going to be stressful for you and for her.  Remain calm and professional regardless of your supervisor’s behavior.  You should try to be understanding about what is causing her behavior, but an excuse will not make it all right.  Your supervisor needs to realize that to her staff, she is the boss, first and foremost.  Her personal problems come second and should never interfere with ability to do her job.

 

Good luck, Katie!  You can do this!

Amanda